a gentle touch ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤbegan to thaw my frozen countenance,

the numbness left me ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤlike the birds going back north—

i’m shivering again ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤi’m alive after all.

now i’m struck by ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤthe throbbing pain of “relief”,

like how cold hands ㅤㅤㅤㅤonly hurt ㅤㅤㅤㅤafter they touch warm water.

the tender softness of scar tissue ㅤㅤㅤㅤ rubbing against scar tissue,

dampened with snowmelt ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ feeding streams flowing from tired eyes,

sparkling with painful truths ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ looking ahead unflinchingly,

unlike my fleeting gaze ㅤㅤㅤㅤstill dissolving ㅤㅤㅤㅤunder restless hands;

i’m a groundhog fleeing from its shadows

yet you keep waiting ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤwith unfaltering conviction.

it’s been dark outside for so long,

i don’t know what month it is ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ but i don’t care —

we can have ㅤpumpkin spice ㅤㅤㅤpeppermint ㅤred velvet ㅤrocket pops

savoring synergies ㅤㅤㅤㅤtranscending seasons —

let’s taste 

all the holidays and celebrations ㅤㅤㅤㅤtimes and respites we missed;

it’s hard to start a cooking fire ㅤㅤㅤ in the dark

but the warm glimmer of ㅤyour smile sparks ㅤand my heart is set aglow.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤsomewhere, inside my defrosting core,

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤi fear when winter comes again.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤwhat will i do if you’re not here to rethaw me?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤand, even as you stay,

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤi am afraid;

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤi’ll dissipate your heat too quickly—

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤi’d rather you stay warm for yourself

i will grab you tighter.

yet, i will push away a little—

i will find the right amount of space

where i am warm, hands in the fireplace,

close to the flames, but not burning

Edited by Joshua Canela