Illustrations by Marianne Corpuz

Edited by Angela Wang

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Artist Statement:

My monochromatic illustration Who Was the Light Before the Darkness? depicts an ethereal woman made of light, whose clothes billow around her figure and hair flows freely. Despite her illuminated silhouette, the woman is blinded by the darkness she is surrounded in. She wears a panicked expression, clearly vulnerable and worried about her surrounding dangers. Her tears begin to blacken as each inch the darkness touches spreads a pattern of poison throughout her body that would ultimately lead to her own self-destruction. The catalyst is a shadowy force within that darker space that pulls her in. It reveals a man’s head leaning into her shoulder, just barely, accompanied by a hand grabbing her and dimming the light that she emits. Despite this, the woman grabs onto the hand, not wanting to let go of the individual trying to destroy her. This scenario creates a haunting aura throughout the entire piece, the darkness surrounding the two figures closing in on the sparing amount of light remaining. 

This piece was made in reminiscence of a toxic relationship I had in the past, months after the breakup. It served as a way to highlight the pain and anguish I felt during the time. I had done so much for a person who would give so little back, and even demanded more than I could give. It felt like I was losing a part of myself in the process as my own personal identity and morals were being compromised for the needs of a selfish individual. The woman’s waning illumination in this piece portrays part of my own “light” being actively dimmed. The woman clutching onto the destructive figure signifies my unwillingness to let that person go, despite how much they had hurt me. I mistook their attempt to “hold onto me” as mutual love and affection, not realizing the cold and dark reality of it being for controlling purposes. I was left vulnerable, isolated, and alone with only this dark force to keep me company, much like what the image exhibits. However, as over a year has passed since this harmful experience, the illustration is merely meant to signify a distant memory that is now nothing more than a ghost of my past.