Poetry by Zoha Ahmed
Edited by Emily Law
I gaze into the mirror as I delicately wrap
The thin cotton scarf around my head.
My hair disappears, tucked into a warm blanket.
I wonder how my appearance has changed
Now that it mirrors who I am on the inside.
Do people see me differently?
Is it now because my physical looks reflect who I am?
Something that was kept hidden but not secret,
A part of me but not known.
Now my hair is gone,
Covered by a hijab.
There is a feeling of security, contentment
But also, the responsibility of this commitment
Weighs heavily on my chest.
After twenty years of letting my hair dance in the wind,
Of not worrying about a cloth to match every outfit,
Of not constantly adjusting, fixing, pulling…
Of not questioning if people will treat me differently.
Is it this scarf that causes you to stare,
To assume that I am a danger, a threat?
When I enter the outside, readily equipped with the necessities:
Phone, car keys, pepper spray,
It feels like a part of me is missing.
But I’m not sure if this is a step I am ready to take
It is more than a simple covering,
It is a symbol of my devotion,
It’s a commitment to Islam,
A responsibility for my character to reflect the teachings and beliefs of the religion.
A statement for God but implicitly society,
An assertion that I am Muslim.
No longer can I hide behind the mask of conventionality,
No longer am I a girl with brown hair who remains a question mark
I am immediately assigned a characteristic:
Muslim.
Am I okay with that?
Am I whole without a covering?
Artist Statement: “Incomplete” is a conversation with myself struggling with my Muslim identity. Deciding to take a hijab, the beautiful scarf used to cover one’s hair and a symbol of modesty, is a big step and the poem is a reflection of my doubts. How will people react, how will I feel? Not only will people view me differently, but will I see myself differently? Being Muslim is a huge part of who I am and wearing a hijab will make that known to society. However, not wearing hijab doesn’t make me feel less Muslim; hence, the struggle. I wrote this piece for all other Muslim women and girls struggling with finding their place, a balance in their religion, and to know you’re not alone. How one embraces and interacts with their religion is different from person to person and there is no right way or wrong way; you have to find your own path and know that there is a community out there that supports your approach.