I don’t remember, 

but know I dreamt of him 

with his wrinkled face and soft smile, except he

wasn’t smiling,  

at least I don’t think so as I’m desperately

trying to remember  the dream / I could only

recall what it felt like to 

wake up after seeing him,  

my chest heavy, my breath 

short and quick as if I was having a nightmare, but

I shouldn’t be / because I’mㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

dreamingㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

about him, the person who I love the most in the world he is not in anymore,

yet this was a

nightmare? my mind, the white porcelain bowl

 I smashed on the floor the one morning I was so angry at the world for 

family from me that I ran into the restroom after staring at the pieces of something that once was

and I’m / trying to find the meaning  of his visit, with no 

remembrance of the dream—nightmare 

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME? 

am I doing something wrong? 

this is a sign I’m doing something wrong. 

I am trying to please you even though 

you’re not living in my world anymore, so 

tell.

me.

what. 

I’m. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤdoing.  wrong?

Edited by Manelle Aruta