Poetry by Sabella Habtemariam

Edited by Manelle Aruta

there’s ringing in your ears after too long on a night out 

too close to the speakers, too close to the light

you can feel the wax on your wings melting away in thick drops 

everything hurts right now 

and if i asked you to point to where the pain is 

you’d point to an organ i don’t even know 

does it hurt to not like anything you do? to not like the sound of your voice or the crinkle of your smile? to hate the art that sprouts from you?

does it scare you to see the black shade of shame setting on a sunny day because your body moves the wrong way? 

you see yourself walking over a precipice, a divide. 

stay where you are, so far up above the waves and the world–

words are muted, lights are dimmed, everything hurts a little less and everyone’s a little farther away 

–or take a jump into the waters screaming your name?

you dance, you scream, you sing, you do it all with everyone watching 

i know you see yourself crashing on those rocks at the beach 

your body shatters on impact, blood on the sharp rocks as the world behind you watches your lifeless form crumble away

but what if you hit the refreshing water, with the riveting euphoria of opening your eyes when piercing through the surface, not knowing if you’ve reached death or something else 

when the freezing water bites your skin, the salt burns your eyes and harsh air stings your lungs as you take your first breath in the new world,

you remember how to feel again:

you open your eyes to a confusing blur, but it’s more colorful than before, the pain capturing your senses and dragging you out of your world of nothing

and it might just be worth it

to take a chance at smashing against those rocks just to feel those icy waves wash over you